Technical competence, globalisation (again) and cabin fever

Survival in a small, mobile space (even if it is larger and more luxurious than most small spaces) requires technical, mental and physical skills that are surplus to requirements in a normal, roots-firmly-planted-in-the-ground house. I would not claim more than one of those skills and some might not even give me that. As you know, the tramp feels that there are so many new skills to conquer, it is important to divide them between us. It will not surprise you to know, that having allocated AV and navigation systems to me, he has also allocated computers. Now, that may not sound too bad (though frankly, to me, it sounded horrific – I always allocate computers and technology in general, to the boys – the younger the better) since I am tolerably competent in using my desktop computer, but let me tell you that being mobile, especially across several countries is a lot harder than , well to be honest, I can’t think of anything harder at the moment except maybe re-inventing calculus. This is compounded, of course, by the fact that my computer is not only a Mac but an Airbook. Vodafone Germany admired it, marvelled at it, but couldn’t figure out how to upload the date in order to be able to use the cute little stick that enables one to capture the internet from the ether no matter where one is. This is partly because there is no room in an Airbook for a CD rom. Well, it is possible, of course, to attach a box (via the one port on an Airbook) which does has space for a CD rom.

Unfortunately, when I got back to the WLW to look into my computer bag for the magic box, the bag was nowhere to be found. It seems that in his culling of useless bags, boxes and other things taking up too much space, the tramp cast off my bag. I won’t mention what other priceless items were in there, the good news is that my i-pod connector had already been transferred to the technical compartment of the WLW. The bad news was, obviously, that I did not have the means to upload a CD. Those of you cleverer than I will have instantly thought of transferring the CD to a stick and importing the data that way. Of the non-simplicity of life! It didn’t work. My Airbook positively rejected the data (it seems Macs and PCs are a bit like Rhesus negative – a complete transfusion is required before the data sits happily in the Mac). By now, believe it or not, it was the end of the day and I returned to the WLW a dejected woman. I had managed to buy a contract (I won’t even mention that this required a German address which I don’t have but convincingly made up, and a bank account which I do) for unlimited air time but was unable to use it!

I decided the next morning, fuelled with porridge and a determination not to be defeated, to go to Media Markt with my Airbook and all my Vodafone discs and sticks and see what I could come up with. Dear Reader, Media Markt is not my natural habitat. I avoid such places. Give me Marks & Spencers Food Halls, or Giorgio Armani and I can create a dinner and be dressed for it in no time, but Media Markt??? I found my way, again, to the computer section and saw another woman of a certain age discussing her computer problem with a jolly computer geek. I waited. Other people came and went; I stood patiently (if you don’t speak the language well, patience is the only thing that gets you anywhere). Eventually it was my turn. I held my Airbook, the stick, the CD and explained as best I could my problem. The wonderful thing about geeks is they love a challenge. He loved my Airbook; he knew instantly that the not-geek-enough geeks at Vodafone didn’t understand Rhesus negative, but he did! And he had a magic machine to perform the transfusion. Hurrah! It worked! He uploaded the data onto my Airbook and I was once again connected to the world. All was well and I hoped that my day was over as far as computers were concerned. I won’t bore you with the fact that the tramp has an older model because it has a programme that he loves and that won’t work on later models and so I had to go through the whole process again, or with the fact that when I got back to the WLW and plugged in, my mouse wouldn’t work – it was in semi-death mode – no move and then a sudden spasm in a totally random direction, nor will I mention that when I went back to Media Markt (now rapidly overtaking M&S and Armani for feel good shopping) the mouse instantly worked for my now favourite geek. What I will tell you is, that just before buying a plug in mouse, it came to me – the inverter (you cannot have forgotten the inverter!) was causing the electrical impulses to be sent in a non-continuous way!! My geek agreed. I can only tell you that champagne and sardines never tasted so good as they did that night.

Oh yes, and the final prize is that instead of having to have an address and contract in every country that we are to visit (as the first not very impressive Vodafone geek suggested) I only need one. In the other countries I can go into wander mode and still get the local tariff. This probably means that I should have used my UK contract to begin with. But I am not complaining as what I have works, and Dear Reader, that is everything.